Peer Groups and Slow Movers

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Curt_Bumcrot]Curt Bumcrot
Years ago I held the idea that children who were home schooled became immune to peer dependency. I believed that the very structure of home schooling was the secret to raising children with "godly" convictions who would naturally be able to stand on them in the midst of a culture that was collapsing from dry rot. I was wrong.
The problem with this view was my denial that the need for acceptance which leads to peer dependency was, and is, largely an inside issue. All of us are hard-wired to seek acceptance to one degree or another. What got me to thinking about this was observing some home schoolers who had been insulated from the typical cultural channels (TV, internet, DVDs, youth group, etc.) but who still found a way to tap in and discover what was "cool." This created two very different kinds of reactions: disappointment on the part of some adults, and a kind of admiration and envy on the part of many of their home school friends.
This need for acceptance is not going to go away. Yet, as a parent, you can use it to indirectly influence your child in a positive way. Peer groups can be very helpful in motivating a "slow mover." They can affect attitudes and goals. Take initiative to involve your child in a group that shares many of the following characteristics:
� Where effort and hard work is valued
� Where education is valued
� Where involvement in community service is common
� Where parental views, while not always agreed with, are nevertheless respected
Yet, having said that good peer groups will often exert a positive influence on children, there are situations where no matter how good the influence, the child still makes poor decisions. One high school student I knew had both family and professional support and was committed to completing a GED. Then, this goal gradually became unimportant and he began to balk at the preparation required to pass this test. At age seventeen having at least a GED would have put him ahead of the line of those without one when looking for a job. That didn't seem to make a difference.
Another family had a student who, upon entering the high school years, resisted doing their school work. Then, two years later, with little perceivable outside influence, education became important. This student's drive to compete, or in this case begin high school level study in earnest, was totally inside driven.
Again, the need for acceptance is an interior issue. All of us will choose a way to meet this need. Tapping this need for acceptance within peer groups with positive values may help. One thing seems certain, if we don't take the initiative in finding such a group, you can be sure most children will.
Thanks for reading!
Curt Bumcrot, MRE
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Curt Bumcrot is the founder and director of Basic Skills Assessment and Educational Services. He has earned degrees in Biblical Studies from Grace Institute in Long Beach, California, a B.A. in English from California State University at Dominguiz Hills, and a M.R.E. (Master in Religious Education) from Grand Rapids Baptist Seminary. He has been active both as a teacher and administrator in Christian Schools.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Peer-Groups-and-Slow-Movers&id=6651783] Peer Groups and Slow Movers